~The Obscure Soul~

I had thought I will post after I get a job. There is a little development that has taken place at my end. I have got myself enrolled into a distance learning program for HR from Symbiosis. Also, I have joined an HR consultancy, as an HR Ex. Does this sound great?
*Cough! Cough!* Hmm... After being upset and disappointed with myself and my job for 2 days, I have finally accepted that’s how things work in the private sector. All of us have heard, we need to slog, work our asses off! But trust me I had never even in my dreams thought or imagined how it would be? God has been too kind with me up till now. I was never a studious girl and have never burnt the midnight oil to prepare for exams. Now that I have entered the professional/working period of my life, I certainly understand why my parents always encouraged us (my sister and I) to work. May be to make it a little easier for us to adapt the not so warm surroundings where we are supposed to be in for the most of our life. Honestly speaking, I could not stand and I stumbled on the idea of working like a slave. Today I remember something which one of my professors once said- “Perform or Perish”. My parents, friends understood and explained me that initially the road which I have opted, might appear rough. Gradually, when I start performing and living up to the challenge I will make myself and my near ones proud. Hence I head towards the arena to fight, survive and perform.

I seek blessings from my elders and guidance from God.
Be with me.....

Out of so many things that must have been special to me...
the unforgettable and most valued ones I associate with thee,
Every time I fail to describe them and capture them in my verse...
I plan to click a picture, to cage the way you touch me and nurse,
The way you make me smile and giggle like a kid always...
I wish to record your zeal to make me happy and compile all that you say,
I don't know, how do I hold these moments and treasure them forever...
when I'm with you, I wish life could come to a halt, and change never,
May be my desire to pause life...when I'm clutched in your arms...
is all about living such moments to the fullest and feeling their charm!!... =)

I sit by the side of my window... and look at the sky...

Yet again the thoughts pouring in, and so many- why?

Sometimes I wonder, god must have decided it for me...

But, memories from the past tell me, how I turned it to be,

How hard I may try, to think of the happy days...

Don’t know why only do the gleeful come n make me say-

How it would have been with you...and the things you said...

Wish I cud abstain thinking about things which didn’t work n let them fade,

Why does my eyes turn n moist...and why is my heart yearning...

I'm not missing you, and my conscience is not lamenting,

Prefer to keep my pen down...and close my eyes for a while...

Let the brain go numb and sinking heart walk a mile..!!

P.S. haven't I relived this moment..

I’m really weird.....!!!

It’s going to be the 4^th hour in the morning, and I don’t feel like sleeping.

I don’t feel like studying,

My friends from everywhere(college, school, internet,phone,blog) are off to sleep,

I want to talk to someone =(

Nobody is there, I feel lonely ... unnn...

Thought,

 to talk to my space-whose always there,

as a born spectator;

helping me capture everything I want to and I feel like.

I miss my best friend..

Why do I have to feel so weak ???

and lonely, and left out..the night doesn't seem to end!

m being very restless!! :(

Megha.

P.S. I want to wish Ani a very Happy Burrday! =) may god bless him with lots of happiness and hope his desires turn to reality! ...next, i want to congratulate people who tried the puzzle-trust me it was not tht easy! :P now u know too ...

The much awaited post is here,

(I had promised to update what I was busy with of lately)

And here it goes.

I’m posting my experience of what I felt about participating in solving a quiz/puzzle-Transcend404notfound which is designed by four guys from SIBM (Symbiosis Institute of Business Management).

I hope you people try to participate too.

It would take another day or so for me to recollect my journey since 20th Feb’07, 2:30am... A friend on Gtalk asked for help and gave me the index link to the game. He told me how to proceed by giving me the very first answer. I stumbled on the very next, which was the IInd level. Quite ironic, he left and slept. But I got glued to the game the very night and tonight (24th Feb'07, 2:30am) I got finish the last level!

If I were to describe the over all experience about the Game/Puzzle or these 5 night and 4 days then I will ask you to play the game! :)

May be it helps, I mite fail to express how I felt when I cleared the first level on my own (IInd level), I was determined to play further. My online pals who knew I was playing this game asked me to forget it and let it go off my mind. Perhaps I took the game very personally and had a desire within to win! When, I reached level 9, I got a Wild Card (with a wild card, a player can ask for the answer from the moderator and move onto the next level). A weapon which I thought would fetch me the first position! I was glad and proud to reach a level in the game which made me feel a little confident of a smooth journey in the game. Walking the ladder up was not only challenging but strenuous too, but guidance and motivation from friends and moderators made it easier.

There were many times when I psyched out, and my online mates noticed me freaking out and suggested me a breather. I didn’t take break (except for sleeping 5 hours each day on an average!) while playing the game. I didn't realize when I started taking it so personally and got obsessed with it, not only did I forgot to sit and talk with my mom and sleep at night but also I didn't talk over the phone with my friends, forgot scrapping, didn't check my bog, didn't go out to meet anybody. This is what I would call the power or the influence or shall I put it this way-The game had cast a spell on me!

My favorite level would be 16th which actually taught me! I'm bad at math, and it was a level which required one to be proficient with numbers and conversion concepts. In spite of having hated solving sums so much, I learnt Hexa that too from an Online pal over Internet while chatting to him, soon we(he) realized we were on the wrong track and we have to do the addition the Octal way, and I learnt that too and got the values on my own. This was not all I learnt conversion too. It is very special to recollect how dedicated I was to achieve my little victory at this level. [People who know Math and Hexa, Octal number system might not realize what I just mentioned. But probably my online friend ICY who taught me knows how I felt like after cracking this level.] Still remember when I was recommended to use the wild card here. I'm glad for what the game made me learn at each level. To addition to what I mentioned, there is yet another vital bottleneck, which I lost my wild card. To be really honest the zeal to win the game and anxiety if 20th was the last level left me in a state of confusion. Was I prudent to use the card, or did a blunder! People around told me I should have kept it for the levels to come, and some thought I got the answer so easily. To great surprise 20th was not the last level and a tough one indeed. I felt cornered and isolated, though I lead the game then. Wild card fetched me everything but bliss that I had dreamt of (that again teaches me you never know what fate has in store for you) may be I expected too much and took it very personally.

The last five levels were very relaxing for me, I can't believe I was slouching and hoped to cross a level. I don't know why I knew I’m not going to win. Though deep inside the urge to prove the gut feeling wrong I pulled my sleeves again and started working to crack the current level. Some how I feel the levels towards the end were light (doesn't mean easy). I'm a beginner in this game, I can’t compare, and it would be unfair to comment if it was easy or very vague or difficult. The reminiscences of these days and game will always remind me of challenges I faced while playing and moving forward, and I will always treasure them. Yes, I always wondered this creation by human mind, and I was and I'm still curious and keen about the making of the puzzle, and what it took you guys to design transcend404notfound!

Oh how can I? Forget to mention there were many anecdotes, when I felt I should leave the game. I made a firm decision to not proceed with any level, and if I would; that would be all by me without any hint, clues from fellow contenders. (This is almost impossible for a beginner at least!) But the game is addictive and irresistible; I was back after a short while. But I tried to brainstorm more on my own. Another thing which I would like to mention is I avert searching-or shall I say I escape it, but the game changed this aspect of mine too and again gave me a lesson here, try, try and try until you succeed. Looking at things with perspectives and analyzing dimensions to it, besides spontaneous thought process, if not an in-depth knowledge; one needs to be well aware of verticals and spheres which he does not even like or prefer as his interests(like umpires in cricket for me or liber abaci). I might keep writing for another few hours but one should be precise and effective in his delivery of speech again, so I would like to summarize this post.

People whom I came across while playing the game have their own place in the memories from this game, as I proceeded in the game. Each one of them helped me, and I tried to help them too. There were times when I felt insecure, and dumb. Contrary to this feeling there were moments when I felt I’m on the top! I know I’m silly, but honest and candid in my expression.

A special note from the index page which I guess suits me-

“DISCLAIMER:
Team 404 is not responsible for you sleepless nights angry girlfriends/boyfriends or any other natural or artificial catastrophe that might occur due to playing this game. The player of the game is solely responsible.”

It was nice knowing the moderators Praveen and Prateek who always provided the participants with the hints, clues, and leads. But what makes them special for me is their sense of companionship and their devotion to the game-in context to the people who played. They were constantly in reach even at odd hours of the day. The game turned almost everybody insomniac. They not only maintained the game spirit but also supported, suggested and motivated players like me and helped to overcome our limitations.

Hope they come up with such great mind boggling creation again.

I have nothing negative to say about the game, I believe everything that has been created and invented has a pro and con to its existence; so even if at some point of time all this while playing the game I felt that this was unfair, or incorrect; very soon I realized the justification for the same. That’s how I was at the game, and that how I feel for having played it. Hope you people try it too; you may not play like I did, but on and off, it would be great. More than 1000 people tried to play this game.

To top everything that I have described, I stood 6^th in the game!

Megha.

P.S. If you have read the complete post-God bless you. Perhaps this is the longest post I have ever written myself on my space. =)

Now I’m not going to start my post with a question like I always do when I have to give a presentation! :O

I’m not able to sleep.

My results,

a chat with my sister which lasted for 6 hours last night,

meeting with my cousin today;

none of these provided me the comfort and solace my heart longs for...

In despite of what I feel,

after squelching the longing I possessed.

It is terrible for me to make myself happy with masks that I put on during day time.

The night is meant to be candid, lonely, a faithful representation of what I’m...

and what I FEEL.

I’m growing weak from within, emotional decomposition is the result of restored thoughts and memories..

If I’m making no sense to you then I’m really sorry and request you not to ask me to explain this. My words might have taken the form of a Jumble words exercise, or might appear to be a weird picture portrayed here.

My mind is not in sync with my heart. The disintegration is leading me no where. .

Now the naïve girl within me wants to smile

.......be ‘happy about nothing’,

her soul wants to feel the bliss through the sight and joy in the song her voice sings...

A little dream to slacken the throbbing heart!

to tranquilize the discomposed self within...